Revealed: a copywriter's messy first draft
Creatives talk a lot about process. Speak to any writer and they’ll tell you they’re familiar with the blank page, the often horrendous first draft and the slog that goes into delivering something presentable in the end.
I don’t know about you, but I never keep my first drafts. I save over them with my edits and improvements as soon as I can, eager to forget the indignity of the first attempt. Covering my tracks. Hiding the evidence.
Until now, that is.
I’ve decided to lift the hood and share one of those first drafts. (Not without some trepidation, might I add.)
Why? Two reasons. As freelancers and companies of one, many of us are quite isolated in our work. But recently I see more and more people opting to ‘build in public’ and share their creative process without a filter. It’s a bit like doing maths exams in school. You get points for showing your ‘workings out’ as well as your answer.
So alongside that first draft, I’ve included the final version for you to compare. I’ll also share the process that separates the two. Because in a way, aren’t the workings out the most interesting part?
The second reason is that I think we writers do ourselves a disservice by masking the blood, sweat and tears behind what we do. How many of us have heard: “It’s only a few words, it shouldn’t take you long”? Perhaps if they could see the work involved in coaxing brilliant copy out, they’d feel differently.
I’ll admit this feels a bit like showing you my messy drawer, my bathroom cabinet or my bank statement. So go easy on me.
The piece in question is the opening to my May 2021 newsletter. It’s definitely not the best thing I’ve ever written but it does demonstrate the transition between first attempt and hitting send, so we’ll go with it.
At the time, my newsletter, The Right Place, was a monthly, light-hearted look at what it means to run a small business with purpose. (These days, I focus more on copy and messaging - you can subscribe here.) The format consists of an introduction followed by three tips. I develop the tips throughout the month, but I tend to free-write the opening just a couple of days ahead. It’s usually inspired by something I’m experiencing which I feel might resonate. The goal is to welcome readers and set the tone.
In this instance, I had a last-minute change of heart about the tone and message having read a few friends’ social posts that morning. I never want the newsletter to prescribe or imply there’s only one right way of doing things.
Give both versions a look, then keep reading to find out what happened between first and final draft.
First draft
Final draft
Here’s my first draft:
For me, April was one of those months. One client project overran, another was much bigger and more time-consuming that I’d initially planned for. Something had to give. And it wasn’t the quality of the work, it was my work-life balance, my sense of calm.
I took three days off at the end of the month to plant seeds and potter in the garden. We found these old pieces of farm equipment belonging to my partner’s great-grandparents so I gave them a spruce. It was the space I needed to get some perspective.
I didn’t start freelancing to work crazy long hours and tire myself out.
As my own boss, I wasn’t being very kind to my only employee.
It doesn’t do my output (and therefore my clients) any favours when I’m overworked.
So, this month it’s #MorePlayMay. I’m hoping not to work Fridays for the whole summer (more on that in a future newsletter) and I’m taking more care to take on the right amount of work, not all the work indiscriminately.
It’s all well and good me advocating for everyone else to take more breaks and enjoy more downtime but if I’m not doing it for myself then what’s the point.
And here’s my final draft:
Do you ever find yourself bouncing between burnout and balance? For me, April was one of those months. One project overran, another devoured my time like a hungry uncle at the buffet. My personal life shouldered the blow.
Then, three days off. We had a mini lockdown where I live, so I could do little besides gardening, reading and cooking.
And that’s how this month became #MorePlayMay. I focused on finding that elusive even keel. As we head into June, I’m trialling a four-day week (more on that in a future newsletter) and trying to keep the scales steady.
Let me know how your month has been.
So, what did you think? Hopefully the final draft was worth the work. Here’s the process I followed to get from A to B. Obviously, it varies from piece to piece, which I’ll talk about in a second.
Step away for at least 24 hours to give yourself the space to be more objective.
Edit/rewrite for message, structure and clarity. Is the message right? Is it well-ordered? Is it clear?
Read again, looking more specifically for style, including sentences and word use. Read aloud to hear how the writing flows and if there are any ‘sticky’ spots.
In all honesty, steps two and three sometimes blur into one, but they are the standards I apply to every draft, regardless of the way in which I tackle them. It might take more than two goes over, but at this stage, you’re pretty happy with what you’ve written.
Proofread. If I’m doing this myself, I check for errors by reading aloud once each for spelling, grammar and punctuation. But often I have the help of error-spotting icon Becky Ashwell to make the process fast and painless.
Depending on the goal of the piece, I will have specific elements in mind as I edit. Here, as I mentioned, I want to welcome readers, set the tone and be respectful of their time. To achieve this, I worked to:
deliver a less dogmatic message
ditch unnecessary or boring detail and waffle
make sentences shorter
improve the rhythm by varying sentence length
bring a bit more lightness and personality
involve the reader more
halve the word count
The final point to make is there’s no such thing as perfect. I’m never 100% happy with anything I write. It’s about finding that biting point where any further time spent isn’t going to reap significant enough improvements to be worth it.
If you’d like me to help you get from messy first draft to polished final draft, book a Zoom power hour.